Sober Tools

The 10 Essentials

Staying on the sober path, most importantly starts with taking care of yourself; Body, mind and spirit. That can be challenging for some but if you have limited tools or no tools at all … No Bueno! You might run into a few snags. Let’s explore our 10-bullet proof must-haves.

#1 Eat Healthy: A healthy body equals a healthy mind and mental clarity. It’s a proven fact food can change our mood and ultimately our peace of mind. Negativity vs positivity, you decide! All you need is “the willingness” to stop eating junk. We all know sugar can spike up our insulin and coming down from it is like a bad hang over. Try to get to know your body and what foods it can tolerate, as in a good partnership.

#2 Exercise Daily: Run by the beach, walk in nature, practice yoga, ride your bike …jump up and down like a monkey, dance while you brush your teeth, or better yet, while you take a shower (safely off course). The point is, you don’t have to train for the Olympics to be moving your body. Just get into action regularly and at the same time uplift your spirits.

And now the obvious…
#3 Attend Meetings:
Yes, it should be on the top of your list! Why? because this is where we connect, relate to each other, learn how to deal with our daily affairs, share war stories/peace stories, and plug into our higher power …because let’s face it who do you think is running the show? Just look up! The best reward is the friendships we forge, and trust me, they will be your biggest advocates. So, get numbers, lots of them!

Moving on…
#4 Get a Sponsor:
It’s crucial next to a meeting! They can show you the ropes and guide you on the yellow brick road. That way you don’t run off to meet the scarecrow. Not only will they become your biggest mentor, but sometimes they will care for you like a loving parent. Yes, sadly so some of us didn’t grow up with the best role models and this is your chance to have one. Even if it’s temporary in the beginning and you’re on to a new sponsor in the long run.

#5 Get Involved: Whether it’s “doing service,” going to recovery events, meeting socially with other members, joining Facebook support groups, and checking websites like this one 😉 …the point is “if you seek you shall find.” It’s simple as that! A very good friend once told me, “if you put yourself in the center of the program you won’t fall off the edge.” Extra bonus, you’ll make more friends and appear like a superstar. Case closed!

#6 Get Connected: The single most important thing is to plug into something greater than yourself. Think of it like charging your phone 😉 Whether you call it your Higher Power, God, Spirit, Great Universe, find the source within you. And if you don’t believe in anything fake it until you make it! I am willing to bet you will experience the magic eventually. That’s a proven fact for so many folks in the program. Just ask!

And how do we connect?
# 7 Learn to Plug-In:
Read inspirational literature everyday trough scriptures, books, apps, and daily readings. Inquire within your circle. There is an abundance of resources (find it on this page). Some people allocate a specific time for it, mostly in the mornings. Find time to meditate and pray, the closest way to cultivating serenity in your life. As the old saying goes “Be still and know that I am God.” It works! You don’t need people like Deepak Chopra to convince you of that.

# 8 Find Ways to Help:
Whether it’s helping another alcoholic, volunteering in your community or practicing kindness each day …any time you step outside yourself to help another person or a group of people, you will find instant gratificationBetter yet, get out of your crazy head. Just give it a jolt! You can simply call someone and ask them how they are doing. A small gesture goes both ways!

# 9 Choose your Partner Wisely: Yes you heard me! If you can’t wait past the “one year dating hiatus,” at least do yourself a favor and pick a partner that is “super supportive” of your recovery. And if they let you go, good riddance people! They are obviously retarded, or worst, another drunkard. But honestly, this can make or brake you! We all know we are sensitive creatures and that can mess with our heads big time.

And last but not least…
#10 Just for Today:
“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” This program requires small steps and that is to focus on the NOW. Just for today, keep yourself clean and sober. Just for today, live your life to the fullest because tomorrow will be gone and you can’t do anything about it. Just for today, enjoy the abundance and the beauty that surrounds you. Hence, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Just for today, stay healthy stay strong!

By Rachel, founder of Flying Sober

man, silhouette, the customary

Relapse Prevention

Have you ever had a voice in your head telling you, it’s ok just to have that one drink? Even when you know that it can quickly turn ugly. We call it the mental highjack! And it can happened at any time, unless you implement some key ingredients to keep this life worth living.


  • Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s progression not perfection.
  • Don’t isolate yourself. Alcohol breaths isolation – feeling of loneliness, anxiety and boredom can sneak up. Go to meetings, meetings, meetings (online/offline)
  • Call another alcoholic to have your own little mini session.
  • Surround yourself with winners/ big influencers. As the old saying goes “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.” Or worst what your future will look like.
  • Do service/speak at meetings/step outside yourself. It really works!
  • Don’t let a relationship rule you and make them your higher power. 
    It’s a sure way to fall off the wagon and loose yourself. 
  • Don’t depend on anything outside yourself to fill up that void. 
  • Do things that make YOU happy.
  • Work the 12 steps in all of your affairs.
  • Find your higher power, your chi, by practicing prayer and mediation. 
  • Learn to quiet your mind and overcome the ego.
  • Be grateful for that you have and live in the present moment.

    Listen to Podcast: Relapse Prevention Part I 

Tail Signs/Traps

  • What’s the opposite of gratitude? Feeling sorry for yourself. Like the world is against you. 
  • Taking on the victim role. Poor me/why me is a sure way to justify drinking again. 
  • You find yourself making excuses for dishonest/wrong behavior. 
  • You develop another addiction for shopping, gambling, eating disorders. 
  • You start depending on prescription drugs like pain killers etc.
  • You hold on to secrets (You’re only as sick as your secrets are). 
  • You start lying and feeding people garbage. 
  • Hanging out with people who are bad influence. And allowing them to behave badly. 
  • Self will run riot. You fly off the kookoo’s nest for no reason. 
  • Thinking you know what’s best. Not getting advice from anyone. 
  • Not taking responsibility for your actions/mistakes and apologizing for it. 
  • Feeling a sense of entitlement.  
  • You don’t go to meetings. 
  • You slowly retreat into complete isolation.  

Getting into Action 

  • Realize it’s only a temporary insanity. 
  • Dial numbers. Call your sponsor, sober friends or a family member for help. 
  • Surround yourself with people who got your back.
  • Have an accountability partner. Make a plan! 
  • Assess your current circumstances: who are your friends, partner, and mind set.
  • Play the IF game: What IF you took it this far? Walk yourself through it.
  • Think about the people you’ll hurt along the way. 
  • Think about all that you worked for and what you stand to loose.
  • Go into a meeting ASAP and talk about it.
  • Get honest with your sponsor and rework the steps.
  • If all fails, get on your knees and pray to the God of your understanding.
  • And if you do fall prey to it, dust yourself off and get right back on the horse. Have the courage to pick up another white chip, because you’re not the only one this happens to. Sometimes the same mistakes have to happen, so you can stand firmer on the ground.

Sober Resources