literature, book bindings, page

Kristen in Love

heart, love, sunset

February Share 2021

Kristen is one of these people that are so easy to talk to. It’s ironic, but one of the few advantages of drinking has loosened us up and made us approachable. She’s a prime example of that and she is funny as hell. We may need a drum roll to introduce her to you fine folks. Coming to you all the way from Canada, without further ado…


Hi friends, my name is Kristen B, and I am an alcoholic and an addict. I’d like to begin by thanking Flying Sober for asking me to share some of my personal story for the month of February; in pursue of love for the program and the fellowship. It is an honor not only to write this, but hopefully inspire people to make this new year a great time for change. 

heart, butterfly, flight path

What was it like?

As many of our stories begin, mine also involved trauma; being bullied by my sister, extreme abandonment, and a lack of nurture and guidance. The ideal recipe for disaster. I was raised by a generation who felt corporal punishment was the only way to discipline children. As the middle child of three, I was on the wrong end of the cattle prod far too often. It wasn’t a great day until I opened my dad’s beer and sipped the fizz off the top, then sipping the leftovers at the bottom. My active “career” with anything that numbed me out began very early on. I don’t have much of a recollection when it actually started. Sadly so, memory loss and blackouts is a bonus that comes with alcohol and substance abuse.

What Happened?

Without a shadow of a doubt, I come from a strong and lengthy lineage of alcoholism on both sides of my family tree. The circumstances in my life molded me into who and what I became as an addict. I know this to be true today, it just took 37 years and tens of thousands of dollars in therapy to get the point across. I heard the universe loud and clear when it put up a flashing neon sign that said: “Okay, kiddo, I’ve got nothing left to hold on to, the energy I used up is depleted. It’s up to you now …I will support you either way.” 

After decades of drinking, my life had come to a final fork in the road and I thought; “do I live today or put out this burning flame?” It was as simple as that! For absolutely no reconcilable reason the events happened on June 5th, 2012 at 7:30pm and forever changed the path I would walk on. I feel as though it has brought me closer to whatever my purpose is on this earth. Lord knows, my plans were going nowhere. I was in self destruct mode, primed and ready to go off at any moment, without warning.

My guardian angels wrapped their wings around me and kept me from drinking or using on that Tuesday of June 5th. They sent me a guide who brought me to Alcoholics Anonymous on the following Friday, June 8th, 2012. This was a foreign and unknown territory for me; I had never heard of AA, or any sort of Twelve Step program, prior to this. So naturally, I was skeptical.

At the point, I was broken emotionally, mentally and physically to the core. I was drowning in a big black ocean; hopeless and full of shame and guilt. There was no “do’s” left. I just knew my life was shattered and on fire. Barely smoldering embers left where a beautiful life had been reconstructed so many times; constantly rebuilding it from the aches to try and create a wonderful, and for all appearances, happy and functional life. I was far too exhausted to try it over again just to fail miserably. And I begged, “live or die” but for keeps this time. AA was my last resort!

What it's like today?

roses, heart, mother's day

I had no idea that I was putting down the last alcoholic beverage I would ever consume, nor the last drug I would use and abuse. Today, I use those pains as gains, I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it (cliché but true). I would rather focus on evolving and making the world a better place. That epiphany and Grace I received in AA, has led me into the most incredible, truly unexpected, beautifully messed up, and perfectly-imperfect life, I am fortunate enough to live today. 

What brings me the most joy and fulfillment? I am a single mother of 2 wonderful children. I am the secretary of a 24 hour international marathon meeting on Zoom with over 3,000 members. I was privileged and honored to be nominated and elected through a majority of votes. There is great joy and peace in helping others and having a wealth of friends. I have a newfound faith and hope in relationships I forged with no expectations. The love that I’ve been blessed with in sobriety, is something no one or anything can take away from me. I am beyond in love with my life, and that is the best Valentine’s gift that my higher power could give me.

Happy Valentine's Day

Wanna chime in? Can’t sleep? Need a pick me up?
Join me: 319 AA Marathon Coed
Every hour on the hour! Jump right in!
Zoom ID: 840 5355 4493; PW: 853263

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
1 Comment
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
3 years ago

Thank you for sharing this heartwarming, uplifting story. It showed courage, strength and perseverance.