Jacque – Happy, Joyous & Free

I grew up in Wichita, Kansas and I like to say that there wasn’t much to do in Wichita, so I started drinking when I was young around the age 12-13. But if I’m honest with myself, I would’ve started drinking at a young age regardless of where I lived. I grew up in a loving, middle class family. My parents divorced when I was four and they both remarried when I was young, so I basically grew up with two sets of parents. It was a win-win: holidays and birthdays I got double the presents and double the love. I’m not sure why I started drinking in the first place, but I do remember that I would come out of my shell and I wasn’t as shy or reserved. I recall practicing a routine for dance team tryouts at a party one evening and my mom saw us practicing when she came to pick me up. When I got in the car, she commented on how well I was dancing. She didn’t know I was tipsy and that I didn’t have a care in the world. I felt so free! That was the pretty side of drinking, which didn’t last long.

I was a black-out drunk from the get go. Consequences to my drinking started early during my freshman year in high school. I went out with friends and the rest of the story my parents told me; my friends knocked on their door that evening and handed my drunk self over. My mother and step father Tom, had to bathe me while I was basically passed out. When my mother put me to bed, she was terrified I would choke on my vomit and kill myself while sleeping. She propped me up with pillows so I wouldn’t roll onto my back. Thankfully, I survived the night. This drunk-a-log was the beginning of my being grounded for the last three months of my freshman year. It sucked and I hated my parents for being so strict.

Fast forward to my Senior year, I was with one of the girls on my cheerleading squad and we were getting ready to cheer in a Basketball game. She had a beer in the car and we decided to drink it. What’s one beer, right? Next thing I know we got busted by a security guard. This was really bad because we got kicked off the cheerleading team and suspended from school. Cheerleading was my LIFE since 2nd grade and I was on the honor roll. To my demise, it was all taken from me. I was mortified, embarrassed, and ashamed. Honestly, the rest of my Senior year was kind of a blur. The two things I remember is that this is when my passion for fitness began and I became body conscious.

In college, I got a DUI (in Albuquerque, NM). My Step Mother worked for the State of Kansas. Somehow she worked her magic and it never appeared on my record. I know I was saved by the grace of God! I worked in medical sales later on and you can’t get hired with a DUI because driving a company car is part of the job. God is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves, even when we can’t see it. I was obligated to attend AA meetings as a result of the charge. I seriously have no recollection of that. My thought at the time, “I am NOT an alcoholic.” 

After college, I moved to Tampa, Florida. I did my dietetic internship as a Registered Dietitian, and a few years later got into medical sales. My drinking escalated to an entirely different level. I was wining and dining physicians, reps, and myself included. I had a generous expense account, life was good! …or so I thought. On the outside, I looked great; I was “healthy”, fit, attractive, doing well financially, traveling and seeing the world. But on the inside, I was a slowly dying.