Donnie – Winning the War

October Share 2020

If life was a sitcom as in Cheers, a place where everybody knows your name (minus the alcohol off course), Donnie would have the lead role. If you browsed his social media, his smiling face appears across the board with dozens of people who love and adore him. He is someone who battled addiction throughout his life. He struggled, he fought, and ironically through surrendering he actually won the war. Today, he considers himself a spiritual warrior willing to give back anyway he can.

Introduction

Hi. My name is Donald and I’m an alcoholic. Growing up I had every advantage in the world. Private schools, country clubs. I was popular, fairly good looking, good at sports, and definitely book smart. It is my firm belief that alcoholism is a gene and if that’s the case I certainly have it. I was told very early on that my grandmother was an alcoholic. She committed suicide when I was very young, yet I still followed the same path.

What was it like?

I didn’t start drinking till I was 17. A few months into it I can recall a friend saying “I think you’re an alcoholic”. I denied it of course, but in my heart I felt it was true. That also led to drug addiction because when I drank, I did cocaine on most occasions. I was always able to skate through life up until I was 30, when I fell for a girl who broke up with me because of my habitual cocaine use. As a result I decided to get sober. I came to realize that I was an alcoholic first, because it was blatantly obvious that when I stopped drinking the cocaine would magically disappear too. Although I only remained 6 months sober, deep down I knew that it would have to become a way of life if I was going to stay above water. But I decided to go back out anyway and this time I secretly added crack into the mix, which took me down even quicker. My life spiraled out of control from there.

I got sober the second time around at around 35, when my family sent me to a rehab for the first time. I spent the next 10 years in and out of rehabs and recovery programs but was never able to completely give into it. I was a nice little white boy with serious knowledge of what it was like to smoke crack in the hood. During this phase of my life I went to jail 15 to 20 times. My poor mother knew exactly what to do when they would call from jail to see whether I could qualify for pretrial intervention. All of my friends were forced to drop me because I stole from them. I would steal from my parents and anyone I could for that matter. I became exactly the opposite of what I aspired to be. My life was a mess and I was completely miserable.

What Happened?

The last time I was arrested was on March 13, 2013. I remember sitting in jail and reciting the third step prayer over and over again, just like I always did. But this time it was different, because God answered me. I heard him clearly: He told me to go fuck myself; He had given me everything and he was sick of it, and this was it! To prove his point, he had me sit in the holding cell for 16 hours, eight hours longer than it had ever taken previously. For this, I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. Somehow I finally got the point. I realized I had no chances left. I had spent enough time in jails and institutions. The only thing left for me was death.

I wish I could tell you I got it before, but it took what it took to get me here. At this point I believe I finally surrendered and did what I needed to do to get the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I went to 135 meetings in 90 days. I kept going every day up to eight months when I finally got a job. I’ve continued to go at least four times a week and more when possible. I listened to my sponsor and I did the steps. I helped other people and I completely turned my life over to God to the best of my ability. I continued to practice the principles in all my affairs.

What it's like today?

I’ve been given a life I could have not imagined in my wildest dreams. I am a productive member of society who is decent, kind, reliable, and a good friend. People want to be around me now. They value my opinion and advice, and that means the world to me. Through Alcoholics Anonymous I’ve continued to seek and improve my conscious contact with God. All the good that is in my life comes from working the program and my relationship with Him. All I asked when I got sober, was a room of my own and perhaps even a DVR. Instead he gave me a house in a beautiful neighborhood, a great job, a car and an incredible woman in my life. He took away my ego and gifted me with humility instead. When people compliment me today, I know they are seeing the light of God shining through me. I know He is the reason of all my gifts and I promptly acknowledge it every day!

The best HIGH I ever felt from drugs is of no comparison to the life I have today. I have serenity and a new way of thinking. All of this came from alcoholics anonymous, working the steps, and continuing to work them in all of my affairs. I owe my life to AA, and considering the life I have, I can never repay that debt.

BUT I’M GONNA TRY!!!